Aah, a unicorn!
I found her last year. While we sat submerged in it, she was only dipping her feet in the hot tub. I stared at a few D-cups in front of me. Scared, and a little tipsy.
"I am hearing things. Am I drunk already. This is only my second".
"That's true."
"Wow. So, you survived India (quite literally sometimes) without having gone through foeticide, infanticide, child sexual abuse? You weren't beaten up outside a club by our moral custodians? And you want me to believe that you were never even manhandled in public even though you were totally asking for it being inebriated and loose and what not?"
"I just had a protected child-hood"
"I wasn't particularly on the streets either, you know"
"Hmmm.."
I never thought this day would come. All my confidence in our grand democratic republic is now shattered, and with each falling piece I realize how much I miss the ogling eyes of men (so many men) on the streets of Delhi. While our police, law, and politicians can give KKK a run for their white hats when it comes to prejudices, general junta of the city- the proud owners of the y-chromosomes, are pretty indiscriminate. They would bestow any pretty, young thing with their completely unwarranted attention, no-bias-attached. How, you ask I see. Well, that PYT doesn't even need to be pretty or young. They will grope anyone/thing with a general female form regardless of age, beauty, length of hemlines, state of mind etc. All that equality gave me sniffles any time I traveled in the DTC bus or walked down in "modern clothes". Natasha Smith could have taken lessons on how to feel self-disgusted from any woman in India, instead of feeling wronged. Now that I am safe, it feels weird. The phenomenon of walking in the dark with sudden increase in visual and aural senses' acuteness largely remains inexplicable.
And I haven't even talked about the liberty of thought, and freedom of expression yet. So naturally, I asked a Dude who actually exercised it. "You see all these women with dheela character in the pubs, or for that matter even juice shops? Forget even those, see these women from the north-east, they roam about in Delhi like it is their homestate, with their fiercely free attitude which just screams I need to get some right now. I need YOU baby. Yes, their eyes scream that out." "How do you know? I don't see anyone even looking at you. Are you going to go talk to her?" Obviously the Dude is not going to be bothered with making small talk-shalk. Not like the women can ever say no to him. "And anyway, no is yes said with just eyes." Even in his village adjoining Delhi, all the women present (albeit invisible) at the village meeting voted to give away their rights to own mobile phones or marry with their own choice. Face it, honor killings are just expressions of dissent and disapproval. "Arre, Dhoble and Shri Ram Sena are not the only saviors of morality and decent women. We don't even need these outsiders for safeguarding our women here above the Vindhyachals." Surely, self-censorship is not an issue here. And this is India and not the US, where calling a woman a "slut" for asking insurance cover contraceptives on the radio would in any way be penalized. Women are killed for much less here. Freedom of expression for the win!
If you thought that unity in pluralism was a mere political rhetoric for grandiose thumb-waving in front of Pakistan and to keep Rahul Baba in business, think again. Through the ranks, the urban and the rural, the elite and the masses, everywhere the thoughts fuse together to form a beautiful harmony. Screechy altos or coughy tenors will simply not be tolerated. These men would put frat brothers, from party schools here, puking into each others mouths to shame. They stand together and stay silent together. So lest you want to lose a life or limb by interfering if a girl is being molested or paraded naked in full public eye, be like Gandhi ji's bandars. Better still, go get a camera to record it all. The entire charade afterwards is so wonderfully choreographed that it goes exactly the same way EVERY time. The cops say the loose woman asked for it. The media screams "no fair" and insists on asking people on the streets. People blame law, society, and indulge in some social-media activism (of course no protocol followed). All this while the Fab India saree clad representative from National Commission for Women hides the woman's face and ensures her own matching pearls are seen clearly on the tele. One needs to give the judiciary due credit though. With half the laws for women not codified for they fall in the realm of religious freedoms and the other half just plain shitty, they fall back on known guidance of choice wherein lie the eternal truths. So where a Muslim woman can be divorced anytime with no rights whatsoever, a Hindu woman can be completely denied inheritance from her own father's property (Oh might I remind, she was also not given any dowry because it's against the law). In cases involving fuzzy logic (ha) a judge may look at Ramayana and decide that the wife should follow the husband wherever he goes. Umm, except Rama was a crappy husband (yes, Uma Bharati, I said that). So if you are gonna be damned if you do and damned if you don't, you might as well do.
