Chez moi!

Because I'll be leaving my own little haven. And because I love it so much that I need to document it.

Waiting in vain?

Sometimes happiness wears you out too. Some days, this inertia, borne out of satisfaction of mere existence, is (weirdly) just enough. I sleep well. I have almost forgotten how to be bluesy (much to the chagrin of my Flamenco teacher). On other occasions, I try to shake my insides for an ounce of any emotion other than glee, to feel something else. Not sadness. Longing, may be, for the summer rain, or for my father's arms. But, I seem to be fine with windy days, sunny skies and perpetual company of me. Then, one hour ago, I found her. I am still figuring if it's too early to be obsessing already. No I am not. I am dancing to her divine voice. It's past midnight. I'll be dipping my fingers in paints soon. I long to lay down on the wooden patio of the shack with him under a billion blinding stars, smelling cold air and thick coniferous cover. The lassitude ebbs away.

Oh Hindi Zahra, your wine-stained mouth is beautiful and, might I add, oddly inspiring.

डर

जब ना डर हो और ना कोई आकांक्षा,

और स्वप्न हो गए हों खाली.

जब हो इतने स्वतंत्र,

रहे केवल अब और आज.

उस पल की आकांक्षा में, स्वतंत्रता में, रहेगा यह मन तब तक

इस डर के बंधन में.

(When there exist no fear and no hope,

And the dreams are all empty.

When there is absolute freedom,

And just a now, not past nor future.

In the hope of that moment and that freedom, I shall remain

Fearful.)

Je ne comprends pas!

I am too clean a hippy, 

Too free-spirited for the free-market.

A simple girl with a messy history,

A twisted girl with good upbringing?

Too sane for the crazy, 

Too crazy for the sane. 

Non comformist, non-belonger?

Or just a pretender trying to survive the world?

Spring

The sun is back. Hallelujah!
I finish my 6 month stint of vegetarianism today. Helloooo Re-Carnivorization!
And 11 men made 1.1 billion hearts skip a beat in sync. 
What an absolutely glorious day?

Pyaasa Verses

Tang aa chuke hain kash-ma-kash-e-zindagi se hum

Thukraa na de jahaan ko kahin bedilli se hum

Hum gham-zadaa hain, layein kahan se khushi ke geet,

Kahan se khushi ke geet,

Denge wohi jo paayenge is zindagi se hum.

Ubhrenge ek baar abhi dil ke valvale

Abhi dil ke vavale

Maana ke dab gaaye hain gham-e-zindagi se hum.

Lo aaj humne tod diya

Lo aaj humne tod diya rishta-e-umeed

Rishta -e-umeed

Lo ab kabhi ghilaa na karenge kisi se hum.

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Main phool taank raha hun tumhare joode mein,

Tumhari aankh massarat se jhukti jaati hai.

Na jaane aaj main kya baat kehne wala hun,

Zaban khushk hai, aawaz rukti jaati hai.

Khayal-o-khwaab ki parchhaiyaan ubharti hain,

Mere gale mein tumhari udaas baahein hain,

Tumhare hothon pe mere labon ke saaye hain.

Tumhe yakeen ke hum ab kabhi na bichhadenge,

Mujhe ghuman ke hum milke bhi paraye hain.

Khayal-o-khwaab ki parchhaiyaan ubharti hain.

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Zaraa mulk ke raahbaron ko bulaao,

Ye kooche ye galiyaan ye manzar dikhaao,

Jinhe naaz hai Hind par unko laao.

Jinhe naaz hai Hind par, woh kahaan hain?

Kahaan hain, kahaan hain, kahaan hain?

~ Sahir Ludhiyanawi

Isn't it ironic?

It is, when your CPR instructor asks you to keep up the compressions' frequency to the beat of "Another one bites the dust" and suggests you sing it inside your head while giving them. Think I might want to stick with "Staying alive". That works as well.

I feel stupid and contagious

Just discovered a hauntingly beautiful version of  "Smells like Teen Spirit" by Scala and Kolacny Brothers choir.

http://www.scalachoir.com/en/music/videos/smellsliketeenspirit.htm

Not at all Nirvana-ish, but I guess Cobain would still approve.